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Hello. Despite my moral reservations, I will be attempting to tell two lies, as well as one truth. To mitigate the damage of these lies, I will attempt to make them true after the fact. Thank you.
Welcome back to your number one, 24/7 game show: Spot the Deception! Can you tell which of my stories is false? Two of them are lies, and one is true! I hope that you're learning something from me about lying, my partners-in-crime— or else you might find you're a VERY easy mark.
To everyone asking, the care package drive went really well! Thank you for your kind words and your compassion! This week, Professor Moynihan wants to see if you can tell when I'm lying. Two of my statements will be true; one will be a lie. Whether this course is going to help anyone remains to be seen. Solidarity!